Thursday, May 4, 2017

Thoughts on the 2017 Met Gala Red Carpet

As expected, the 2017 Met Gala red carpet included some crazy outfits (not surprising considering that Comme des Garçons is featured in this year's exhibition) as well as some downright boring ones.  

While I can appreciate the creativity of Rei Kawakubo, her designs are certainly not my style, so I suppose it is not all that surprising that I had a really hard time picking a favorite look this year.  (I know it will surprise everyone to know that the gentleman carrying his own shorn dreadlocks was not my first pick of the evening - props for creativity, but that is one accessory that should have stayed home for the evening!)  Actually, I had a difficult time finding a single ensemble that I really loved.  But I keep coming back to this Alberta Ferretti dress on Fei Fei Sun.  Don't know who she is, but she looks beautiful.  Those sleeves are amazing, and the different textures of the fabrics play really well together - this dress would easily work in the closet of a 1930s movie star.  I even love the simple un-done hair with this look.  It is very easy to overlook details in a black dress, but this one is so spectacular it's hard to miss. 

Most of the ensembles that I was drawn to actually turned out to be devoid of much color.  I like the streamlined look of this black and white design.  The play of masculine and feminine design details has been done many times before (Emma Watson really knows how to make this sort of thing work), but this Carolina Herrera pant and bustier with an oversized train is very chic on Emmy Possum.

Continuing with the black and white theme, here is a Diane von Furstenberg dress on Allison Williams.  If someone had asked me, I would never have guessed that this is a Diane von Furstenberg design.  Hate the hair (which looks like an uninitiated hairstylist decided to have at it with a curling iron and a lot of hairspray), hate the earrings, and the sheer underlay on the sleeves is irritating me and distracts from the simplicity of the rest of the piece, but I do love the overall design.  The black and white combination and the asymmetrical peplum paired with the long sleeves is really lovely.  I just love a long sleeve on a formal gown!  

And here comes the boring . . .  This is a lovely little Diane von Furstenberg frock, but it just doesn't deserve a spot on this particular red (or blue or cream) carpet.  It's pretty, but it's just not special enough.  Would I like to own it?  Sure.  But if I was invited to an event like this, you better believe I would do something with my hair, and make sure my slip strap was not showing!  The overall silhouette is really lovely on her, though.  Just step it up for a big night out, would you please?!

This Topshop gown on Candace Swanepoel has some oomph to it due to the sheer size of the skirt, but again, I want more.  I don't like the hair much, and the nude lip trend has got to go.  I think they were trying to go for a Brigitte Bardot look, which would look lovely with a sun dress, but when you are wearing a ball gown, my goodness, you need to live up to the drama (even if it is a little on the boring side).  But I am sure she had fun twirling around in all that fabric - or at least, I would have!  Do supermodels twirl, do you think?

There was a tree in the backyard of the house I grew up in that had some very intriguing fungi growing on it one Winter.  The same species appears to have taken up residence on Halle Berry's Versace dress.  The beading on the bodysuit even looks like bark.  It's bold, and at least the proportions of the design are very pleasing, but I just can't stop seeing that tree fungus when I look at this picture.

And here we have a case of the old "actor that thinks she has to dress as a character she played for the rest of her red carpet life."  I haven't read any of the Fifty Shades books, and I haven't seen the movies, but this looks very good girl goes bondage to me, and I just don't think that Dakota Johnson can pull off this Gucci look.  I think that the design is interesting, but a lot of the detail gets lost in the black - I would have loved to see this in a deep wine or emerald with perhaps a bit of texture on the banding at the waist and shoulders, and on someone else.  The earrings also look a bit fussy for this dress, I would have liked to see something more modern.  I do thank her for doing something with her hair, though; this looks so much better than what she did with it for the Oscars.  

Katie Holmes and her BFF Zac Posen were out on the town together again.  There were a number of instagram videos posted, and it looked like she could barely walk in this.  Rule number one:  if you are going to be walking down a red carpet, for goodness sake, make sure you can move in the darn dress.  Rule number two:  if you can't handle a train, don't wear a dress with a train!!  And it looks like the dress suffered with an inexperienced driver at the helm - the hemline is already shredded after a few minutes of abuse.  I guess those tiers are unfinished?  At least Posen finally went with a more matte fabric - that shiny poly satin has got to go.  But I would have preferred to see Dita von Teese in this dress a couple of years back when she attended with Zac Posen.  She would know how to do this justice.  I also think the severe hair, eye makeup, and diamond choker was a styling mistake which makes the dress look a lot more "Red Carpet Barbie" than it should.

Okay, Zendaya, I love big hair and am super jealous of people with voluminous locks, but this is a little over the top.  I think it's the combination of the hair and the dress; the sheer volume of everything is too much.  Or maybe it just needs more, like a jeweled parrot perched atop the mass of hair to really make the ensemble larger than life.  D&G Alta Moda are always dressing their models in crazy head pieces, and I think that is what this is missing for me.  But the dress is just too cha-cha for words!  Dolce and Gabbana keep coming up with these ridiculous prints, and the more crazy they are, the more they work.  When they begin work on my dress, I will be asking for a different color palette that will not make me look like death warmed over, but Zendaya can certainly handle the mustard tones.

Belle is back, this time being played by Jessica Chastain (I have a feeling the yellow gown is going to be rearing its head quite a bit for the next year or so), but this time she has showed a bit of restraint in Prada.  I really love that neckline and the draped sleeves, but overall this is still quite underwhelming for the Met.  She really does look like a Disney princess, doesn't she?

And once again, here is a Babette to complete the set.  I can sort of understand why Blake Lively chose this dress because her body looks spectacular, but then you get to the hemline and the blue feather duster train is just bizarre.  I guess Versace was going for some kind of exotic bird?  The look on her face makes me think she is second guessing her choice, as well.  I think this one belongs in Vegas . . . hey, JLo, I think I found an outfit for your next stage show. 

But wait a minute, Ms. Lopez decided to go for something quite different today . . .  I really want to like this very 1960s inspired blue number on Jennifer Lopez, and maybe with eight inches of hair removed it would work for me.  I do, however, appreciate that she went for something a bit different.  We have seen so many barely covered looks from this lady, so this is a nice departure.  But I think that perhaps the chiffon overlay could have been just a tad more sheer so the under dress it just a little more visible.  She really does Old Hollywood very well, and in this instance, the light lip with the heavy eye makeup works.  Those earrings are the perfect finishing touch, too.

Julianne Moore went with a Calvin Klein feathered number (also very Vegas appropriate).  I think this would have worked better if the hemline was slightly shorter.  And I hate the shoes and purse combo.  The matte white just drags all of those feathers down.  Where are the metallic scrappy sandals, please?!

I rather enjoy this Pre-Raphaelite-like craziness.  (Zendaya, this is what I was talking about with the hair, just with some sparkles and feathers, perhaps!)  It is possible the dress looks incredibly gaudy in person and in the daylight, but I love the headdress and the curly blond ringlets on Haley Bennett, and the sleeves, the earrings, and the bright pink lip compliment each other perfectly.  She looks like an gilded angel.

I love a ballgown, I really do.  And I am certain that this Oscar de la Renta was amazing to wear, and I would really love to see that textile up close (I would hope it is a brocade and not just printed), but here is another basic strapless gown.  The hair, makeup, and restrained jewelry and shoes is spot on, though.  I guess I will give Miranda Kerr a little credit for the interesting skirt length, or do we think this was just made for a shorter individual?  It does look very Audrey, so all is not lost.

As someone who is very long waisted, I am intrigued by this Chanel bodice.  It looks almost Elizabethan with a very restrained farthingale-like skirt.  I do love that vibrant pink.  The shoulder bloom is reminding me a bit too much of that tree fungus on Halle Berry, though - look out, the spores are spreading!  And Lily-Rose Depp looks rather miserable; I am concerned that embellishment is beginning to strangle her.

Oh dear, the shiny satin is back, thanks to Carolina Herrera.  At least this looks like silk, though.  Satin just creases and looks rumpled so very easily.  And this should have been hemmed up another inch or so for it to fit Taylor Hill properly.  I do love the sleeve, though!  I am also confused as to why the hem is faced with horsehair, or is there some kind of fabric facing?  It is killing the drape of the train.  And could she not do something with her hair?  And what is up with the pink eyeshadow trend?  Maybe it works in an editorial, but in the sunlight, it looks like something went horribly wrong.

Speaking of rumpled . . .  there is something about this I like - perhaps because it reminds me of something Donna Karan would have designed fifteen years ago.  But not for a formal event, for goodness sake!  Turns out, Doutzen Kroes is wearing Brock Collection, which I am not familiar with.  I am reminded of that mustard Marchesa monstrosity that Katie Holmes wore to an event some years back.  This lacks a bit of that volume which somehow makes it work (for a day dress).  It often seems like these designers think that real opulence involves taking some beautiful fabric, throwing it on a dress form, tacking it down in a few random places, and hoping for the best.  There is a fine line between looking like you are not trying very hard and looking like you pulled your dress off of the floor of your closet.  I think this particular dress has failed that test.

Almost twenty years later, Gwyneth Paltrow tries to get that ill fitting pink Ralph Lauren princess gown she wore to the 1999 Oscars right, and I think she finally managed it in this sparkly Calvin Klein.  And yes, I am still never going to forgive her for stealing the award from Cate Blanchett that year, which may have something to do with my intense dislike for the ill fitting gown.  I do wish she would have bothered to swipe on some mascara and a bit of lipstick, and a bracelet of some kind would have been nice.  This is nowhere near as good as the white caped Tom Ford from a few year back, but sleek and modern really suits her, and hey, at least the darn dress fits this time.  But is it enough for this event?  I think not.

And to end, there is nothing that exudes true style and class like a hand on your wife’s rear end in front of the Metropolitan Museum of Art and hundreds of photographers.  Do we think Mr. Brady has cold hands and did not want to get Gisele's back chilly?  I am going to put this in the Angelina thigh category.  I suppose they think they are being cute, but it just looks tacky.

All in all, a bit of a disappointment this year, but it always is fun to see what walks up those stairs!

[Click on image for source]


  1. Oh, the Met Gala is always so over the top, the bar for crazy keeps getting raised higher each year. I enjoyed your critique!

  2. Yep, live for your critique (outstanding sleeves and lipstick on Fei Fei, and the 'shrooms dress is not going to get Halle cast in anything too soon, maybe a remake of "Matango", a.k.a. "Attack of the Mushroom People").

    Has your font gotten smaller? It it my eyes? Please be mindful while your municipal water supply is mixed with the over-flow from the fountain of youth, mine is filtered river water.

    Twirling is the gateway move to more serious affectations. NO twirling!

  3. What is with all the "Didn't even have time for a blowout"-hair? Either its frizzled and undone, out pulled back. That's perfectly fine for everyday, but with a gown? Doutzen Kroes' gown could be really sensual, if she had glamorous hair and some jewellery. This way it looks like she had to quickly put on a bedsheet.
    Tom and Giselle... It looks like he is trying to hide a builders décolleté, if you know what I mean.
    I also like that Blake Livelys Husband wore a tie to match the train, it makes the whole thing more stylish.

    My favourite is Zendayas gown, its a spectacular special occasion dress.

  4. Well done -- and that really does look like tree fungus!

  5. I'm amazed some of these dresses ended up in the restroom floor....

  6. This photo explains the short video of Holmes twirling in the Zac Posen dress. I prefer Dita von Teese's Posen from the 2014 Met Ball. But I'm a Dita fan, so there it is.
    Ryan Reynolds looked lovely!